ARTICLES
http://www.ncchurches.org/2013/05/phw-success-story-islamic-association-of-raleigh/#respond
Poem: Get Married, Be Married, Stay Married!
Marriage deserves mutual consultation
It surely does need rejuvenation
Marriage will test your inner patience
Training you for intellectual competence
Marriage is family togetherness
Increasing affectionate closeness
Marriage is a lot of hard work
And lasting marriages do really rock
Marriage could increase your family size to 10 children!
But never fret, our Ummah needs more brethren
Marriage is a complete lifestyle change
Without compromise, it can be a major challenge
Marriage is an everyday adventure
Worship together, feel the spiritual treasure
Marriage is a lifelong joy
With sincere open mindedness and no decoy
Marriage in itself is beautiful
Make sure you are equally dutiful
Marriage is like a heartfelt career
To make it last, remove every unwanted barrier
For a marriage to be lively, it takes two to tango
Otherwise, there will be vanity, pride, and unnecessary ego
Express your love for your one soul mate
Plan creative activities together and go out on a date
Marriage is an investment with grand dividends
Not an end to its means but a means to its ends
Marriage is a committed, consistent, Jannah-building effort
And with Qur’an and Sunnah as your dictates, you will definitely find comfort
BIO: Maryam Funmilayo is a freelance editor and writer. She enjoys penning poems inspired through personal reflections. Being married for over a decade now, the demands and tests of motherhood have led her to find and utilize fun, halal, sacred tips to spice up her marital life.
*This poem was published in the June 2014 issue of SISTERS Magazine.
http://www.onislam.net/english/family/your-society/communities/460578-muslims-too-have-a-lot-to-do-during-christmas-.html
A Quitter versus A Winner
By: Maryam Funmilayo
When I get discouraged and my future seems daunted
When I feel depressed and I do nothing but dawdle
When I feel dazed and assume everything is at a deadlock.
When I feel deficient because my faith is plunging down
A dekko at myself proves that I really feel disgusted
At times I feel dejected because I’m in a state of denial
When I am troubled by some negative “Dee” words, with a feeling of despair,
Remind me, Ya Allaah! That a quitter does not win, and a winner does not quit.
When I feel delighted for my devotion to the deen
When I dedicate time for prayer in the twilights of the dusk
When I devote myself to gather decent deeds and virtues
Dhikr and dua do make my day so dear and dreamy.
Dignity, devoutness, and dedication I determine to achieve
When I demonstrate some positive “Dee” words, by accepting the divine decree,
When I remain in a calm demeanor and drink plenty of water
Remind me, Ya Allaah! That a quitter does not win, and a winner does not quit.
Originally published in the Poetry section of the Summer 2012 Edition of the IWA Magazine.
Taqwa: A Virtue I Yearn to Attain
By: Maryam Funmilayo
Taqwa. Piety.
Unattainable? Impossible?
Unachievable? Challenging?
Frustrating?
Can one attain taqwa in this complex, material-driven world of ours?
Where humans have lost the essence of their being?
A world in which killing, cheating, narcissism, and oppression exist.
The human race has lost respect and virtues in almost every facet of life.
Taqwa, where shall I find you? Where shall I begin to nurture you?
A study of our past Muslim heroes and heroines is a true proof
That taqwa is doable and with no doubt, very possible.
For they emerged successfully, hence, we must follow their calling.
A Muslim must strive to reach that level of taqwa, piety.
Aiming for excellence is different from targeting perfection.
For no single soul is perfect save the Creator of the helpless creatures.
When I contemplate in silence, all alone, with no distractions
When I take account of my deeds before I am taken account of
When I cry out my soul after erring and failing
I feel and sense the awe of His majestic sovereignty
I know for sure He hears me since He is the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing.
I fear for His wrath yet hope for His undying love
Then, I know that taqwa is attainable, possible, and achievable
Taqwa is neither challenging nor frustrating.
Taqwa deserves its right place in my relationship with the Creator.
As long as I surrender and submit to the Lord of all worlds,
And worship no other but the only one deserved to be worshiped,
And strive to purify my intention no matter how small the deed is,
Then, I know that my baby steps towards taqwa are worth taking.
Originally published in the IWA 8th Annual Poetry Contest, April 2012
Ways to Overcome Difficulties
By: Maryam Funmilayo
The Qur’an is full of soothing words, warnings, glad tidings, and beautiful reminders for the Muslims. Surah Ankabut (29) verses 2-3 state: “Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allaah will certainly make it known the truth of those who are true, and will certainly make it known the falsehood of those who are liars.”
Difficulties, challenges, and stressors in our daily lives are bound to happen. Life is truly, not a bed of roses. Every day is not Eid. Some days are full of happiness, and some days are just gloomy. Just as the night and day alternate, and babies grow to become young kids, and then adults, life itself is not constant. Life is full of ups and downs.
Tests, trials, and tribulations, occur differently at different times, for different people. One way or the other, every living being, irrespective of their religious backgrounds, is tested in various forms. The loss of life and property is not something strange to humans. For the believer, it is part of our belief system that a trial must run its course before it vanishes. Hence, when we are tested, it is advised that we must exercise extreme patience and seize the opportunity to turn to Allaah for His infinite mercies.
Surah Yusuf (12) verse 87 reminds us with the following assurance: “And never give up hope of Allaah’s mercy. Certainly, no one despairs of Allaah’s mercy, except the people who disbelieve.”
Life experiences have made me stronger and less attached to the frivolities of this world. Yet, I sometimes find myself wondering about what the future holds for me, and from these thoughts, I end up panicking unnecessarily. I have finally realized that my present moment is the only moment I have; the only moment I can work on and improve; the only moment that is given to me as an opportunity to repent, seek Allaah’s forgiveness, and hope for His mercies. As for the future, I should leave it alone. It is not in my hands. It is unseen so I should not waste my energy to see through it. Yes, it’s good to plan, day dream, and set long-term goals that will benefit one in this life and the next. However, one should be very careful not to waste time day dreaming unproductively. The present is the only one we have and we should live it to the fullest in accordance to the Qur’an and Sunnah.
There are several ways a Muslim can overcome difficulties. Overcoming difficulties does not mean that one will not encounter any more difficulty till one breathes one's last. It simply means that one is equipped with coping skills that will assist one in moving on with ones’ life in the midst of trials and tests. No matter how difficult our situation might be especially in these days of tight economy, we should be reminded that our past predecessors, and our Prophets, including Prophet Muhammad, salla llaahu alayhe was salaam, experienced so many difficulties and trials that none of us can bear with today. May Allaah not test us beyond our level of faith, aameen! They were tested, and tested all over again, yet they triumphed, turned to Allaah, and humbled themselves before their Lord.
Below are ten ways to help cope with stress that arises from a difficult situation:
First, turn to Allaah and seek His forgiveness. The Prophet Muhammad, salla llaahu alayhe was salam, said: “If anyone continually asks for pardon, Allaah will appoint for him a way out of every distress, and a relief from every anxiety, and will provide for him from where he did not reckon” – Narrated by Abdullaah ibn Abbas in Sunan Abu Dawood.
Second, make continuous, consistent dua. The dua is the weapon of the believer. Believe in the power of dua and have hope that Allaah will answer your supplication. One good supplication is the one Prophet Yunus, alayhe salaam, said when he was in the belly of a fish: "La ilaha ilaah anta, subhanka inni kuntu mina-dhalimin, which is roughly translated as: "There is no god but You, You are far exalted and above all weaknesses, and I was indeed the wrongdoer." Reported by Sa’d ibn Waqas in Tirmidhi.
Third, thank Allaah for His uncountable favors He has bestowed upon you; favors you never even asked for in the first place. If we all try to contemplate on what Allaah has done for us, we will never be able to count His bounties.
Fourth, have a conversation with yourself and realize that your situation could have been worse than what you are presently going through. Seize the time to remember the oppressed, the suppressed, the rejected, the silenced ones, the sick, the disabled, the divorcees, the widows and widowers, the homeless, the orphans who will never experience what parental love and care is, and so on and so forth. By the time you go deep into sober reflection, you will find your mouth moist with “Alhamdulilaah”.
Fifth, remember what the Messenger of Allaah, ibn Abdullaah, sallaa llaahu alayhe was salaam said: “For every misfortune, illness, anxiety, grief, or hurt that afflicts a Muslim – even the hurt caused by the pricking of a thorn – Allaah removes some of his sins.” This is such a beautiful opportunity to be cleansed off some of our sins that are countless.
Sixth, keep yourself busy with sadaqah. Sadaqah is not limited to monetary donations only. Allaah has created you beautifully so spread the beauty through your smile. Smiling is sadaqah itself. Smile at yourself, smile at people, smile at life. Remember, the angels are watching and you are on camera.
Seventh, find support from others. Be around those who also have similar life experiences and who show sympathy and empathy. Knowing someone else who went through some difficulties, will ease up your own tensions and make you realize that you are not alone.
Eighth, unclutter your life and live green. Live simple. This life really, is not worth the wings of a mosquito. If only we knew.
Ninth, practice grace under pressure. Truly, this is difficult to attain for many people, including myself. This is something I’m still learning how to do when I am faced with any difficulty. When I remember Zumurrud Bint Jawlee, a wealthy female scholar and queen from the Turks of Iraq, who later in her life, became so poor, I ponder on my immaturity and ask myself: “Maryam, so what’s your problem”?
Tenth, remember this saying, now and always: “When I get discouraged and I want to give up, remind me Ya Allaah, that winners do not quit, and quitters do not win.”
Oh, Allaah! remove from us any form of anxiety, fear, grief, and misery, and replace these sad feelings with happiness, contentment, gratitude, and peace of mind, aameen. As long as we have Islam in our lives, we have everything. Alhamdulilaahi rabeel alameen.
Published in the fall 2011 edition of the Islamic Writers Alliance
*From Disability to Ability
By Maryam Funmilayo.
May 2010.
After many years of silly and valid excuses, my life changed. Suddenly, my disability became a history. I became able, mentally and intellectually, and started to decipher the grammatical words in the language of paradise that used to be a mystery to me for a long time. My stark ignorance disappeared, and knowledge took its permanent stance. What a big difference between ignorance and knowledge.
We have been created in different forms, shapes, and colors. Allaah, the Fashioner, has blessed us with different languages, so that we might know one another. Such is the beauty of the unseen. Yet, He has made the Arabic language our divine language for daily communication with Him during our ritual salawat. He has chosen this language above all languages and He alone knows best about His decision. Whatever He decrees, we cannot question. As humans and as Muslims, our duty is to submit and surrender to our Rabb, Allaah.
So, such is my situation. For years, I could recite the Qur’an in Arabic but I never knew or understood what I was reciting. I had to fully rely on the English rough translation. And mind you, the English language can never be substituted for the Arabic language. Translators have tried their best and they can only try. I am not saying that the translations are meaningless or have not been helpful. They have helped me for many years. Yet, these two languages are incomparable when it comes to the linguistics of the classical Arabic. Some Arabic words cannot just be translated anyhow.
Personally, I saw my lack of understanding the Arabic language as a spiritual disability. Definitely, Allaah understands me when I call upon Him in my own mother tongue that He has blessed me with. But my native language is not the divine lingua franca for the Ummah of Muhammad, salla llaahu alayhe was salam. Arabic is the chosen one, and so shall it be till the day of questioning.
The inner thoughts and whispers overtook me for years, and my quest to learn the Arabic language was not taken seriously although I made some temporary attempts. One attempt was self-study. From my own experience, self-study was a big disaster. I was very inconsistent. It was always an 'on and off' process. I would study for one month and completely put it aside for the next couple of months. Another attempt was to travel abroad to the Middle East or North Africa so that I could learn faster through cultural immersion. However, the trip seemed too expensive because my family had to go with me. Simply put, I made excuse upon excuse and time was running so fast. For a long period of time, I remained spiritually disabled.
But Allaah is so merciful, you know. He knows intentions even if your efforts are in the dormancy stage. Of course, if you walk slowly to Him, He’ll come running towards you. His bountiful mercies supersede His wrath. Despite our daily sins, both hidden and manifest, He continuously showers His mercies upon us all, and provides for us without any single charge.
Let us take a look at the physicians and their knowledge of the medical terminology. Without a strong background and understanding of the medical terminology, they would not be able to practice their profession dutifully and thoroughly. Such is the case with the Arabic language and the Muslims. Without a strong background and understanding of this blessed language, we’ll not be able to go beyond the basics that we use daily in our salawat and dhikr. We should all strive to go beyond and above, and seek for more knowledge.
Alhamdulilah, I am now able. I am able to grasp any basic Arabic script even if I do not fully understand it. At least for now, I do get the gist of a story written all in Arabic for elementary school children, specifically in kindergarten, first, and second grades. Now, I am able to relate a story or short lesson to my children and ask questions using basic Arabic words. I know it will take many months and years to be able to fully understand and speak the classical Arabic language as it was revealed. It is not about rushing to speak in two or three years. I do not mind at all if it takes me ten years to learn how to speak eloquent Arabic. As a matter of fact, understanding and contemplating upon the language is much more important to me than just speaking. The main goal is to comprehend this blessed language as it was revealed.
So, how did I get to this stage? Through the mercy of Allaah, I found an online, interactive Arabic course program for sisters only. It is very professional because it has academic class features such as live audio streaming sessions with the teacher, whiteboard applications, e-story presentations, and also free class recordings for more than six months. Sisters who enroll in this course do enjoy the hands-on learning experiences.
So, has it been difficult? Yes, it’s been difficult. Is it intensive? Sure, it is, and it’ll remain so. Is it challenging? Definitely, and it’ll continue to be challenging because the path to knowledge is full of thorns. For example, it’s comfortable and flexible because I am learning within the comforts of my home, while my teacher resides in Cairo, Egypt. But the few distractions from my children are inescapable. That’s the hard part. Is it affordable? Personally, I’d say yes. I say it is affordable for me because if I can be in graduate school and spend so much money to get a worldly degree, then what on earth is stopping me from equipping myself with this beautiful language?
I am grateful to my Rabb, Allaah, who has decreed that I would live to see the day I finally took the bulls by the horn, and said “no” to the whispers of shaytan. Knowledge is not only power but also light. Like a lone glowing star in the middle of the night, knowledge is light for those who care to seek it, implement it, and take it with them wherever they are. And that is my mission with my “new” ability.
I am grateful that He has spared my life to witness today. I thank Him for giving me the time to actually commit myself to learning the language of our deen. Yes, I am busy. But who is not busy? And are we even busier than the Mothers of the Believers during the life of our Prophet Muhammad, salla llaahu alayhe was salaam? We can never be busier than they were. They were all in all.
So my dear sisters, make hay while the sun shines. The opportunities to learn the linguistics of the Arabic language are vast. Learn it while you are still young, vibrant, and full of aspirations. Learn it on the go. If you are a lover of languages like me, and Arabic is a missing ingredient on your language recipe list, I beg you to add Arabic. And even if you do not have a flair for languages, strive to learn some Arabic. No good knowledge is wasted. It’ll surely make a difference in your life, insha Allaah.
Ignorance is no excuse once you know the right thing to do. Now, that you know, purify your intention and go for it. Nothing should stop you by the will of Allaah.
*This article was originally published in the Muslim American Girls Magazine, a magazine for Muslimah teens.
Poem: IBADAH
By Maryam Funmilayo.
Tranquility, serenity,
Solitude, gratitude,
Submission, intention,
Ibadah, all in one. Ibadah.
My tranquility is missing when my mind is cluttered
My serenity is at stake when my soul is smothered
My solitude is absent when my body is fettered
My gratitude to Allaah is inconsistent when my mind is clustered
My submission to Allaah is topsy-turvy when my soul is helpless
My intention for Allaah is stained when my body is heedless
Tranquility, serenity,
Solitude, gratitude,
Submission, intention,
Ibadah, all in one. Ibadah.
My mind starts to heal when tranquility announces its presence
My soul begins to mend as serenity takes precedence
My body becomes strong when solitude appears enriching
My mind is free of spiritual clogs as my gratitude to Allaah becomes uplifting
My soul becomes mindful as my submission to Allaah gets richer
My body takes heed to its physical needs as my intention for Allaah gets purer
Ibadah, Ibadah.
My ibadah all in one
Are all for Allaah,
The Lord of everyone.
*Writing Opportunities Await You!
By Maryam Funmilayo.
Writing has different meanings to many writers out there. To some, it is a passion, a talent, or simply a hobby. To others, their whole lives depend on it since their sole income comes from writing. Some writers use their writing skills for extra income and enjoy the flexibility of working from home. Writers get paid differently depending on the markets they are writing for. However, the one thing common to writers is their love for writing, their penchant for the creativity found in words, and a knack for spreading information to millions and millions of people in a global style.
As young Muslims and as aspiring young Muslim writers, you have an added advantage. Not only do Muslim writers write for the sake of just writing. Muslim writers, especially in this day and age, write to inform and correct any misinformation spread about Islam. Money aside, Muslim writers enjoy what they do and hope for the rewards from Allaah because no one knows how far the true message will reach those who are in dire knowledge of Islam. Many people are thirsty for this message but see it not forthcoming. Truly, we have fantastic da’ees (callers to Islam) who are doing fabulous jobs when it comes to da’wah. Maa sha Allaah. But here’s good news for you. Writing is a niche in the field of da’wah. Da’wah doesn’t have to be speeches alone. You can be a young female da’eeyah through your love for writing. And while you might not get paid all the time you write, there are still some markets out there anxiously waiting for some young at heart like YOU! So, read below and get to know their writing opportunities and perks that await you.
1. The Islamic Writers Alliance (IWA): This is an Islamic professional organization whose primary mission is to promote literacy. They also showcase the creative work of young authors and provide valuable information for professional development. You can visit their site below and read more about what the IWA has in stock for young Muslim authors.
http://www.islamicwritersalliance.net/youngauthors.html
One of the perks of the IWA is their Annual Poetry Contest. The theme for this year’s contest is ‘Ibadah’, or worship. Submissions will be accepted starting on the 1st of April and ending on the 30th of April 2010. The Muslim youth is highly encouraged to participate. For further information about the poetry contest and its guidelines, see the site below.
http://www.islamicwritersalliance.net/poetrycontestguidelines.html
2. The Writing Kid newsletter is another key resource that has writing opportunities such as writing contests, articles to help the youth polish their writing skills, and regular writing markets for students in elementary, middle, and high schools. Even college-aged students will benefit from them. The newsletter is free for all and is published bi-weekly. You might find the information below very helpful to get you started with. And remember, subscription is also free.
http://www.fundsforwriters.com/writingkid.htm
3. The Pen Writing Competition: I just came across this competition in the latest Al Jumuah magazine issue. It is also geared towards the Muslim youth. Competition is for ages 12-19 only. Oh, they have breaking news to share with us all: the final deadline has been extended to July 10, 2010, due to the influx of candidates interested in participating in this writing competition. So, write, write, and write!
http://www.thepencompetition.webs.com/
Writing is a treasure in itself. It opens the doors to so many learning opportunities. Personally, the most important joy I find in writing is the ability to convey the message of Islam to every human soul on earth through the power of the ink. You can’t just beat that.
*This article was originally published in the Muslim American Girls Magazine.
*Living My Destiny as a Muslim Woman in America
By Maryam Funmilayo.
Seventeen years ago, I was a first year student in a Nigerian university, hoping and praying fervently to Allaah, to join the ranks of those upper-level students who adorned themselves with the white coat over their garments. Assuming someone had told me then, that I will not be a medical doctor in the next ten years to come, I would have detested the person with all my heart. Little did I know that Allaah, the best of all planners, had designed His own plans for me beyond my own very limited knowledge.
Fast forward those years, and here I am, now in America, raising a family, struggling to strike a balance between my ongoing education and family responsibilities, and not excluding the many micro responsibilities that are always there and seem to never disappear.
Though I am not a medical doctor today as I had hoped to become when I was much younger, I am blessed to realize the path that Allaah has chosen for me. I must confess that it took a while before I could embrace my destiny. Though I started with taking pre-med courses, along with my public health nutrition major, my life changed when I became a mum. With one child, I thought I could handle the rigors of sitting for the MCAT exam, applying to medical schools, going for interviews and so on and so forth. However, when my second child was born, I knew I could not keep up with the stress of being a pre-med student and a mother to a toddler and an infant. I made sincere dua to Allaah, performed the prayer for guidance (Salatul Istikharah), and consulted with some of my friends who were also pre-med students and family women. I prayed, prayed, and prayed. Eventually, I gave up my dreams of attending medical school. It was a tough decision. It was a huge sacrifice. Factors such as time commitment to my family, expensive school tuition, lack of scholarships, school loans with interest, and no extended family members to help me out, led to my final decision to quit my long search into the medical profession. Allaah in His own mercies directed me to another path that I naturally fell in love with. To me, it is more flexible and family oriented. I finally accepted my qadar – destiny.
Living in America actually changed my outlooks towards life. It is here in America that my faith grew with so much understanding and contemplation compared to when I was in Nigeria. It is here that I have come to appreciate the diversity of Muslims, cultures, and languages. It is here in America that I have learned how to braid the African hairstyle which I took for granted in Nigeria. I never learned hair braiding despite my mother’s advice and encouragement. It is here in America that I learned how to shave my sons’ hair when my husband got busy with work or appointments. It is here in America that I have learned to be very independent compared to my life back home as a totally dependent daughter. Here in America, it is the norm to work and attend school, no big deal, eh? Back home in Nigeria, I could never imagine myself going to school and working at the same time. It is rare in Nigeria. Well, I learned how to cope in America, attend classes, work in the lab, and even raise a family around the clock.
Right now, I am simply living my destiny in America, striving and struggling to uphold my duties to Allaah, the Lord of all worlds, and carrying out my responsibilities as a Muslimah in her home and in the community at large. Though I have given up a passion so dear to me for so many years, I am blessed to discover my new passion which I have embraced with all my heart. More so, this new passion is so family friendly in such a way that it creates so many valuable avenues for quality family time.
This is my destiny.
* This article was originally published in the Islamic Writers Alliance magazine.
By Maryam Funmilayo.
Seventeen years ago, I was a first year student in a Nigerian university, hoping and praying fervently to Allaah, to join the ranks of those upper-level students who adorned themselves with the white coat over their garments. Assuming someone had told me then, that I will not be a medical doctor in the next ten years to come, I would have detested the person with all my heart. Little did I know that Allaah, the best of all planners, had designed His own plans for me beyond my own very limited knowledge.
Fast forward those years, and here I am, now in America, raising a family, struggling to strike a balance between my ongoing education and family responsibilities, and not excluding the many micro responsibilities that are always there and seem to never disappear.
Though I am not a medical doctor today as I had hoped to become when I was much younger, I am blessed to realize the path that Allaah has chosen for me. I must confess that it took a while before I could embrace my destiny. Though I started with taking pre-med courses, along with my public health nutrition major, my life changed when I became a mum. With one child, I thought I could handle the rigors of sitting for the MCAT exam, applying to medical schools, going for interviews and so on and so forth. However, when my second child was born, I knew I could not keep up with the stress of being a pre-med student and a mother to a toddler and an infant. I made sincere dua to Allaah, performed the prayer for guidance (Salatul Istikharah), and consulted with some of my friends who were also pre-med students and family women. I prayed, prayed, and prayed. Eventually, I gave up my dreams of attending medical school. It was a tough decision. It was a huge sacrifice. Factors such as time commitment to my family, expensive school tuition, lack of scholarships, school loans with interest, and no extended family members to help me out, led to my final decision to quit my long search into the medical profession. Allaah in His own mercies directed me to another path that I naturally fell in love with. To me, it is more flexible and family oriented. I finally accepted my qadar – destiny.
Living in America actually changed my outlooks towards life. It is here in America that my faith grew with so much understanding and contemplation compared to when I was in Nigeria. It is here that I have come to appreciate the diversity of Muslims, cultures, and languages. It is here in America that I have learned how to braid the African hairstyle which I took for granted in Nigeria. I never learned hair braiding despite my mother’s advice and encouragement. It is here in America that I learned how to shave my sons’ hair when my husband got busy with work or appointments. It is here in America that I have learned to be very independent compared to my life back home as a totally dependent daughter. Here in America, it is the norm to work and attend school, no big deal, eh? Back home in Nigeria, I could never imagine myself going to school and working at the same time. It is rare in Nigeria. Well, I learned how to cope in America, attend classes, work in the lab, and even raise a family around the clock.
Right now, I am simply living my destiny in America, striving and struggling to uphold my duties to Allaah, the Lord of all worlds, and carrying out my responsibilities as a Muslimah in her home and in the community at large. Though I have given up a passion so dear to me for so many years, I am blessed to discover my new passion which I have embraced with all my heart. More so, this new passion is so family friendly in such a way that it creates so many valuable avenues for quality family time.
This is my destiny.
* This article was originally published in the Islamic Writers Alliance magazine.
*Friendships, Forgiveness, and Ramadhan
By Maryam Funmilayo.
Marhaba, Ya Ramadhan! Here we are again, by the will of Allaah, witnessing another Ramadhan. We are no better than those who have gone to their graves to be questioned by Allaah. Being alive today is another chance, another opportunity, to seek for Allaah’s mercies and forgiveness before His final decision takes place. Ya Ramadhan, we welcome you with all our hearts. We yearn that we make the best of you while you are around.
As Muslims, we are highly encouraged to keep good friends. There’s a saying that goes, “you are the company that you keep”. To buttress my point, there is a hadith of the musk-seller and the blacksmith that I really enjoy reading. The hadith itself speaks volumes. We do not need any Creative Writing professor to explain the hadith to us. It has been best explained by the best of creatures, Prophet Muhammad, salla laahu alyhe was salam.
We all have friends, for we were not created in isolation. Humans, by our nature, need companionship. As young Muslim girls and ladies, we naturally like to have friends who have the same likes, dislikes, goals, and talents. We have friends for different reasons so to speak. However, we should constantly remind ourselves that we should have friends for the sake of Allaah alone. In addition, we should always remember that no matter how much we like our friends or how much they like us, we are still humans and so, we’ll continue to err till the Day of Judgment. In short, no human being is without faults. We are all imperfect.
So, my point is this. Now that we find ourselves cherishing every moment of Ramadhan, do we remember those friends of ours who we hurt in the past or were hurt by them? Or, do we know some Muslim friends who have been out of touch with each other for trivial misunderstandings? Do we have the hearts of forgiveness? Are we ready to bring destroyed friendships together and earn numerous rewards? Or, do we just want to ignore these Muslims and pretend as if nothing happened? If we know for sure that Allaah is oft-forgiving and He does forgive all our minor sins in this special month, are we ready to forgive those friends in our past? Are we ready to move on and put the past behind us? Putting the past behind us does not mean that we would forget forever. We might never forget. Everyone heals at different times and in certain ways. However, to move many steps closer to Allaah and gain immense, incalculable rewards in Ramadhan, it will be better for us to forgive and let bygones be bygones. Also, acting as a balanced and just arbitrator between two quarreling Muslims, is such a beautiful deed.
So, how do you do this? Most importantly before you intend to do anything good, seek for Allaah’s pleasure. Intention is very important. Also, intention and the proper way of carrying out the deed, go hand in hand. Below are simple steps to bring you closer to Allaah for His pleasure only.
First, remember the person in your dua this month. Pray sincerely for this person and ask Allaah to bless her and protect her. Praying for your Muslim sister in her absence is highly rewarding. Second, give her a phone call or send her a short e-mail, with Ramadhan Mubarak wishes. Even if she does not reply or acknowledge it, simply make excuses for her. Maybe she does not have access to the internet or she is out of town. Make excuses for her up to seventy times. It is really good for the soul. Third, if you can and are able, send her a gift if you know her home address. Or, pay her a visit. Make the intention of gaining rewards by doing kind deeds that will be multiplied 700 times in Ramadhan.
Now, after doing all these, and still, there’s no improvement, then turn to Allaah completely for solace and guidance. Don’t feel sad at all. In fact, feel energized with eman rush. It is not the end of the world. Thank Allaah for giving you such a soft heart to carry out beautiful deeds despite the difficulties. Develop a sense of Islamic maturity and be very hopeful that you will be rewarded because no good deed is left unrewarded. Do not be too shocked in case the results are negative. Bombard the negative results with gratitude, patience, and dua. And if the results turn out to be positive, then still be grateful to Allaah for making you the first one to seek out conflict resolution. Thank Allaah that you have the nerve and heart to forgive! Thus, you will be forgiven as well.
* Article originally published in the Muslim American Girls magazine
By Maryam Funmilayo.
Marhaba, Ya Ramadhan! Here we are again, by the will of Allaah, witnessing another Ramadhan. We are no better than those who have gone to their graves to be questioned by Allaah. Being alive today is another chance, another opportunity, to seek for Allaah’s mercies and forgiveness before His final decision takes place. Ya Ramadhan, we welcome you with all our hearts. We yearn that we make the best of you while you are around.
As Muslims, we are highly encouraged to keep good friends. There’s a saying that goes, “you are the company that you keep”. To buttress my point, there is a hadith of the musk-seller and the blacksmith that I really enjoy reading. The hadith itself speaks volumes. We do not need any Creative Writing professor to explain the hadith to us. It has been best explained by the best of creatures, Prophet Muhammad, salla laahu alyhe was salam.
We all have friends, for we were not created in isolation. Humans, by our nature, need companionship. As young Muslim girls and ladies, we naturally like to have friends who have the same likes, dislikes, goals, and talents. We have friends for different reasons so to speak. However, we should constantly remind ourselves that we should have friends for the sake of Allaah alone. In addition, we should always remember that no matter how much we like our friends or how much they like us, we are still humans and so, we’ll continue to err till the Day of Judgment. In short, no human being is without faults. We are all imperfect.
So, my point is this. Now that we find ourselves cherishing every moment of Ramadhan, do we remember those friends of ours who we hurt in the past or were hurt by them? Or, do we know some Muslim friends who have been out of touch with each other for trivial misunderstandings? Do we have the hearts of forgiveness? Are we ready to bring destroyed friendships together and earn numerous rewards? Or, do we just want to ignore these Muslims and pretend as if nothing happened? If we know for sure that Allaah is oft-forgiving and He does forgive all our minor sins in this special month, are we ready to forgive those friends in our past? Are we ready to move on and put the past behind us? Putting the past behind us does not mean that we would forget forever. We might never forget. Everyone heals at different times and in certain ways. However, to move many steps closer to Allaah and gain immense, incalculable rewards in Ramadhan, it will be better for us to forgive and let bygones be bygones. Also, acting as a balanced and just arbitrator between two quarreling Muslims, is such a beautiful deed.
So, how do you do this? Most importantly before you intend to do anything good, seek for Allaah’s pleasure. Intention is very important. Also, intention and the proper way of carrying out the deed, go hand in hand. Below are simple steps to bring you closer to Allaah for His pleasure only.
First, remember the person in your dua this month. Pray sincerely for this person and ask Allaah to bless her and protect her. Praying for your Muslim sister in her absence is highly rewarding. Second, give her a phone call or send her a short e-mail, with Ramadhan Mubarak wishes. Even if she does not reply or acknowledge it, simply make excuses for her. Maybe she does not have access to the internet or she is out of town. Make excuses for her up to seventy times. It is really good for the soul. Third, if you can and are able, send her a gift if you know her home address. Or, pay her a visit. Make the intention of gaining rewards by doing kind deeds that will be multiplied 700 times in Ramadhan.
Now, after doing all these, and still, there’s no improvement, then turn to Allaah completely for solace and guidance. Don’t feel sad at all. In fact, feel energized with eman rush. It is not the end of the world. Thank Allaah for giving you such a soft heart to carry out beautiful deeds despite the difficulties. Develop a sense of Islamic maturity and be very hopeful that you will be rewarded because no good deed is left unrewarded. Do not be too shocked in case the results are negative. Bombard the negative results with gratitude, patience, and dua. And if the results turn out to be positive, then still be grateful to Allaah for making you the first one to seek out conflict resolution. Thank Allaah that you have the nerve and heart to forgive! Thus, you will be forgiven as well.
* Article originally published in the Muslim American Girls magazine
*Community Health and Nutrition Screening Fair: An Indispensable Program to our Communities
By Maryam Funmilayo.
Whether they are the bosses at work, breadwinners at home, or active, academic-oriented students at school, they have little or no time at all to know their health status. In today’s world, we are all getting busier than before. As a matter of fact, most of us start to feel that twenty-four hours is not enough to accomplish our daily obligations or leisure work. The most common word today is BUSY. Even kids, as young as five, already know the word BUSY since they hear it most of the time from the parents. It is really a scary situation.
Our total immersion and gradual acculturation in today’s world make it more difficult for us as Muslims, especially our Muslim men, to get the care they need at the right time. I am not talking about the care that one need when one is so sick or ill. An ounce of prevention, they say, is better than a pound of cure. What I am referring to is the lackadaisical attitude towards the basic, yet immense health care services available to us in our communities. Strictly speaking, it is not about having health insurance or not. The take-home message is all about good and sound health. Hence, this article will insha Allah, address community health and nutrition screening, and how Muslim men can benefit from them. The article will also mention the etiquettes of eating and drinking according to the Qur’an and Sunnah. The importance of role models for the Muslim youth in our communities will be highlighted, with a focus on health and nutrition care.
In the context of Public Health Nutritionists, there are some Americans known as the “working poor”. They work hard like others but still cannot afford any health insurance. To close this gap of poverty so to speak, public health nutritionists plan and implement community health programs for the purpose of delivering health services to individuals. Alhamdulilah, Muslim health professionals are also joining this effort and working hand in hand to make sure every needy individual benefits.
I must confess that we are blessed as Muslims to have many professionals in almost every field, if not all. When it comes to the medical and allied health fields, we have more than what we need, at least in North America. An added blessing is the gradual rise of free health clinics in our Muslim communities. Their primary mission is to serve the underserved and provide quality medical care to those who are in need of it. Even if you think you already have good health, you are always welcome to make use of these free services. Every human being deserves quality medical care irrespective of one’s nationality, ethnicity, social and economic status, or educational background. However, it is not always the case as it should be. We have many needy Muslims in our communities who are dying slowly and silently because of lack of health care. The status quo has been made to remain as it is. To elaborate further, that means that lack of insurance equals to no health care. As Muslims, this is a pathetic situation that needs urgent reversal. The absence of health insurance should never be at one’s disadvantage.
With the emergence of community health fairs, many people including non-Muslims are taking advantages of these services whether they have health insurance or not. Community health fairs have also increased in Muslim communities with the help of so many Muslim health professionals coming together to make everyone’s health better and stable. Physicians, nurses, physical therapists, phlebotomists, registered dietitians, pharmacists, among others, have collaborated to make community health fairs a big attraction for their community members. Due to the burgeoning of diversity, non-health professionals such as language interpreters and translators have been an added asset to such events. So, whether one is in the health field or not, it still does not matter. What matters most is that our community members take advantage of such events which most of the time, is free for all.
The effectiveness of community and nutrition screening in our Muslim communities cannot be underestimated. Whether we are giving care or getting care, both parties benefit. It is also very cost-effective because it is a preventative intervention. One does not need a health insurance to qualify for health fair check-ups. The results produced are highly rewarding. Attending community health fairs creates an avenue for one to gain knowledge of a risk factor or disease. In case of someone with a bad food habit, knowing that there are useful resources to help one reduce or eliminate such habit, is priceless. So, instead of waiting until one gets enough money to buy a health insurance, one can start taking advantages of what the Muslim community offers during its health fair event.
Another good thing that I have observed is that some Muslim communities have taken the bull by the horn by selling fresh fruits and vegetables to their members. This is really a good practice, and a simple yet excellent way to enhance our health. Nationwide, Americans, including Muslim Americans, lack the basic amount of fruits and vegetables needed in their daily diets. Instead, the use of sugar, salt, and fats, have spiked up. There is absolutely nothing wrong in using sugar, salts and fats in our foods. What is wrong with our diets is the lack of moderation, balance, and adequacy in most of our foods. We have sadly drifted away from the sunnatic way of eating and drinking, emphasized by our Prophet Muhammad, salla llahu alayhe was salam. We all know and proudly shout it out that Islam is a complete way of life. Well, this complete way of life does not exclude what we eat and drink and the manners we consume these life-savers that we take for granted most of the time. We tend to pay more attention to the halal and haram issues pertaining to a particular food but subconsciously forget to pay heed to the Islamic manners of eating and drinking. Nowadays, we eat and drink while standing, especially if we are socializing. We also use our left hands for eating instead of our right hands. Overall, we now eat based on desires and gluttony which go against the Sunnah of eating in moderation. Below are the reminders from the Qur’an and the Sunnah.
First, know what you want to eat and drink. Wash your hands before eating and invoke the name of Allah (Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi). Eat with your right hand (Muwatta and Muslim). Eat what is near you (Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi). The Qur’an instructs us to eat and drink freely but warns us further not to be excessive .For indeed, He does not love those who are excessive (Q7:31)The Prophet, salla llahu alayhe was salam, also said, The son of Adam fills no container with anything worse and more evil than his stomach, with food. Sufficient for him are a few morsels to keep his back straight. But if it must be, then one third for his food, one third for his drink and one third for his breath.” This is reported by Ahmad, At-Tirmidhi, An-Nasaa’l, Ibn Majah – Hadith saheeh.
Talking about health screening, the services available include blood pressure check-ups, hematocrit and cholesterol measurement, weight and height measurement, and tests for diseases such as diabetes and prostate cancer. Services are not limited to these. There are also opportunities for community health nutritionists to teach Muslim men about foods, diet, nutrition, and health. As scientific research has indicated recently, there is a strong link between diet and disease. With the rise of obesity, overweight, and diabetes among Muslims, nation-wide and even abroad, much emphasis is on educating Muslims about prevention, and knowing how to detect the signs and onset of diabetes especially type 2 diabetes. As busy as Muslim men are, they need the support of their families and communities to fight any health disease compounding their lives. As Muslims, we do not need to be politically-savvy to influence healthful food choices in our homes and communities. Muslim men, and even Muslim women, can easily become policy-makers in their respective communities. It starts with the leadership of the community taking upon itself to address the health issues affecting us all as we all tend to be too busy to take care of the most precious gift Allah has blessed us with, which is our body. The imams of every community should step up and address the male members about this critical issue. It is very obvious that our health as one ummah, locally, nationally, and globally, is deteriorating.
Our youth also needs self empowerment when it comes to health issues. We should be role models for them in our communities and pay particular attention to their needs including their health needs. Most of the time, we make a big mistake by focusing only on their academics and how well they progress in school. This is a good thing but not the best for them. The best education we can give them is to be involved with them on a personal level and get to know them better by treating them the way we want to be treated. Communicating with them about contemporary issues in which health is included, is a way of inculcating self-empowerment in our youth. They should never be left behind or even left out, in our decision-making and public policy issues that affect us directly or indirectly as one ummah. Implementing adequate physical activities in our Muslim communities is also an excellent way in pulling our talented youth together for a common cause.
We should always remember that our role model and the best of all creatures, Muhammad, salla llahu alayhe was salam, was busier in his life time than we all are today. He was an ordinary man, yet he did not slack behind in any other responsibilities he had. He fought during the wars, was a statesman for his people, was a shepherd, was a big time community server, and was a messenger of Allah. He was also a family man who tended to every member of his house and even instructed them on how to eat, drink and live as a Muslim. In short, he lived a very balanced life. That is the missing ingredient that we miss in our own times.
Below is food for thought from the best of mankind.
"Take benefit of five before five: your youth before
your old age, your health before your sickness, your
wealth before your poverty, your free-time before your
preoccupation, and your life before your death."
Prophet Muhammad (sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam)
Collected by al-Haakim, al-Baihaqee: Saheeh.
*Article originally published in Muslim Quarterly, a Muslim Men's magazine.
By Maryam Funmilayo.
Whether they are the bosses at work, breadwinners at home, or active, academic-oriented students at school, they have little or no time at all to know their health status. In today’s world, we are all getting busier than before. As a matter of fact, most of us start to feel that twenty-four hours is not enough to accomplish our daily obligations or leisure work. The most common word today is BUSY. Even kids, as young as five, already know the word BUSY since they hear it most of the time from the parents. It is really a scary situation.
Our total immersion and gradual acculturation in today’s world make it more difficult for us as Muslims, especially our Muslim men, to get the care they need at the right time. I am not talking about the care that one need when one is so sick or ill. An ounce of prevention, they say, is better than a pound of cure. What I am referring to is the lackadaisical attitude towards the basic, yet immense health care services available to us in our communities. Strictly speaking, it is not about having health insurance or not. The take-home message is all about good and sound health. Hence, this article will insha Allah, address community health and nutrition screening, and how Muslim men can benefit from them. The article will also mention the etiquettes of eating and drinking according to the Qur’an and Sunnah. The importance of role models for the Muslim youth in our communities will be highlighted, with a focus on health and nutrition care.
In the context of Public Health Nutritionists, there are some Americans known as the “working poor”. They work hard like others but still cannot afford any health insurance. To close this gap of poverty so to speak, public health nutritionists plan and implement community health programs for the purpose of delivering health services to individuals. Alhamdulilah, Muslim health professionals are also joining this effort and working hand in hand to make sure every needy individual benefits.
I must confess that we are blessed as Muslims to have many professionals in almost every field, if not all. When it comes to the medical and allied health fields, we have more than what we need, at least in North America. An added blessing is the gradual rise of free health clinics in our Muslim communities. Their primary mission is to serve the underserved and provide quality medical care to those who are in need of it. Even if you think you already have good health, you are always welcome to make use of these free services. Every human being deserves quality medical care irrespective of one’s nationality, ethnicity, social and economic status, or educational background. However, it is not always the case as it should be. We have many needy Muslims in our communities who are dying slowly and silently because of lack of health care. The status quo has been made to remain as it is. To elaborate further, that means that lack of insurance equals to no health care. As Muslims, this is a pathetic situation that needs urgent reversal. The absence of health insurance should never be at one’s disadvantage.
With the emergence of community health fairs, many people including non-Muslims are taking advantages of these services whether they have health insurance or not. Community health fairs have also increased in Muslim communities with the help of so many Muslim health professionals coming together to make everyone’s health better and stable. Physicians, nurses, physical therapists, phlebotomists, registered dietitians, pharmacists, among others, have collaborated to make community health fairs a big attraction for their community members. Due to the burgeoning of diversity, non-health professionals such as language interpreters and translators have been an added asset to such events. So, whether one is in the health field or not, it still does not matter. What matters most is that our community members take advantage of such events which most of the time, is free for all.
The effectiveness of community and nutrition screening in our Muslim communities cannot be underestimated. Whether we are giving care or getting care, both parties benefit. It is also very cost-effective because it is a preventative intervention. One does not need a health insurance to qualify for health fair check-ups. The results produced are highly rewarding. Attending community health fairs creates an avenue for one to gain knowledge of a risk factor or disease. In case of someone with a bad food habit, knowing that there are useful resources to help one reduce or eliminate such habit, is priceless. So, instead of waiting until one gets enough money to buy a health insurance, one can start taking advantages of what the Muslim community offers during its health fair event.
Another good thing that I have observed is that some Muslim communities have taken the bull by the horn by selling fresh fruits and vegetables to their members. This is really a good practice, and a simple yet excellent way to enhance our health. Nationwide, Americans, including Muslim Americans, lack the basic amount of fruits and vegetables needed in their daily diets. Instead, the use of sugar, salt, and fats, have spiked up. There is absolutely nothing wrong in using sugar, salts and fats in our foods. What is wrong with our diets is the lack of moderation, balance, and adequacy in most of our foods. We have sadly drifted away from the sunnatic way of eating and drinking, emphasized by our Prophet Muhammad, salla llahu alayhe was salam. We all know and proudly shout it out that Islam is a complete way of life. Well, this complete way of life does not exclude what we eat and drink and the manners we consume these life-savers that we take for granted most of the time. We tend to pay more attention to the halal and haram issues pertaining to a particular food but subconsciously forget to pay heed to the Islamic manners of eating and drinking. Nowadays, we eat and drink while standing, especially if we are socializing. We also use our left hands for eating instead of our right hands. Overall, we now eat based on desires and gluttony which go against the Sunnah of eating in moderation. Below are the reminders from the Qur’an and the Sunnah.
First, know what you want to eat and drink. Wash your hands before eating and invoke the name of Allah (Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi). Eat with your right hand (Muwatta and Muslim). Eat what is near you (Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi). The Qur’an instructs us to eat and drink freely but warns us further not to be excessive .For indeed, He does not love those who are excessive (Q7:31)The Prophet, salla llahu alayhe was salam, also said, The son of Adam fills no container with anything worse and more evil than his stomach, with food. Sufficient for him are a few morsels to keep his back straight. But if it must be, then one third for his food, one third for his drink and one third for his breath.” This is reported by Ahmad, At-Tirmidhi, An-Nasaa’l, Ibn Majah – Hadith saheeh.
Talking about health screening, the services available include blood pressure check-ups, hematocrit and cholesterol measurement, weight and height measurement, and tests for diseases such as diabetes and prostate cancer. Services are not limited to these. There are also opportunities for community health nutritionists to teach Muslim men about foods, diet, nutrition, and health. As scientific research has indicated recently, there is a strong link between diet and disease. With the rise of obesity, overweight, and diabetes among Muslims, nation-wide and even abroad, much emphasis is on educating Muslims about prevention, and knowing how to detect the signs and onset of diabetes especially type 2 diabetes. As busy as Muslim men are, they need the support of their families and communities to fight any health disease compounding their lives. As Muslims, we do not need to be politically-savvy to influence healthful food choices in our homes and communities. Muslim men, and even Muslim women, can easily become policy-makers in their respective communities. It starts with the leadership of the community taking upon itself to address the health issues affecting us all as we all tend to be too busy to take care of the most precious gift Allah has blessed us with, which is our body. The imams of every community should step up and address the male members about this critical issue. It is very obvious that our health as one ummah, locally, nationally, and globally, is deteriorating.
Our youth also needs self empowerment when it comes to health issues. We should be role models for them in our communities and pay particular attention to their needs including their health needs. Most of the time, we make a big mistake by focusing only on their academics and how well they progress in school. This is a good thing but not the best for them. The best education we can give them is to be involved with them on a personal level and get to know them better by treating them the way we want to be treated. Communicating with them about contemporary issues in which health is included, is a way of inculcating self-empowerment in our youth. They should never be left behind or even left out, in our decision-making and public policy issues that affect us directly or indirectly as one ummah. Implementing adequate physical activities in our Muslim communities is also an excellent way in pulling our talented youth together for a common cause.
We should always remember that our role model and the best of all creatures, Muhammad, salla llahu alayhe was salam, was busier in his life time than we all are today. He was an ordinary man, yet he did not slack behind in any other responsibilities he had. He fought during the wars, was a statesman for his people, was a shepherd, was a big time community server, and was a messenger of Allah. He was also a family man who tended to every member of his house and even instructed them on how to eat, drink and live as a Muslim. In short, he lived a very balanced life. That is the missing ingredient that we miss in our own times.
Below is food for thought from the best of mankind.
"Take benefit of five before five: your youth before
your old age, your health before your sickness, your
wealth before your poverty, your free-time before your
preoccupation, and your life before your death."
Prophet Muhammad (sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam)
Collected by al-Haakim, al-Baihaqee: Saheeh.
*Article originally published in Muslim Quarterly, a Muslim Men's magazine.
*HAD I NOT BEEN MUSLIM
By Maryam Funmilayo.
Few days to the celebration of Eid Ul Adha 1430AH (November 2009), I brought out my address books so that I could make phone calls to my extended family and friends back home. Since it was after Salatul fajr (the early morning prayer), the children were still asleep so I really enjoyed the serenity and noise-free zone.
However, the phone calls did not take place immediately because of my thoughts on past events in my life. I started thinking of how fortunate I was to have met the Muslim students in my university. They were the ones who introduced me to the Muslim Students’ Society (MSS) on campus and actually, helped me in jump starting my awareness of Islam. Growing up in a secular Muslim home, I was never exposed to Islamic education from childhood. I attended Catholic elementary and high schools, and virtually, became a “scholar” in Catholic hymns, holy masses, and Christmas songs. In both schools, I was not known by my Muslim name. To other students, I just looked like a Christian because back then, their own definition of Muslim in Nigeria was ugly, uneducated, ignorant, idol-worshiper, and poor.
So fortunate was I, when I was invited to the MSS “Welcome Back to School” Orientation. I felt so thrilled because I had never met so many Muslim students like that before. I was both shocked and overjoyed. I felt welcomed by the current students as well as pleased in meeting other first year new students. Believe me, it was the best shock of my life. Following this orientation were empowering and memorable experiences. I did feel empowered because I was challenged spiritually to delve more into my religion and know why I existed. This was actually a pay-off deal for someone like me then, since I never knew why I was a Muslim. When asked why I was a Muslim in high school, my answer was always the monotonous clause: "because my parents are Muslims". Those days in my university were memorable because they had lasting positive effects on my personality. Till this moment, whenever I remember those days, especially the weekly dawah discussions and spiritual nights, or the yearly “Jihad Week” that comprised many on-campus and off-campus activities, tears flow down my eye ducts. Those were some of the best times of my adolescent and adult years. Those years were the years that I knew why I was a Muslim and what Islam actually was.
Talking about early adolescent Islamic education, I found mine at the MSS gatherings. They built my foundation starting with the basics. It was a thorough learning experience that I would always cherish till Allah takes my soul. There, I learned about the concept of true brotherhood and sisterhood. I vividly remember one day when I went to the campus masjid. I was hungry and had a class less than an hour. I felt lazy to walk to my hall to prepare food since I might be late for class. One of the sisters willingly and lovingly, gave me her lunch that she brought to the masjid. She didn’t even split it into two. She refused to do so despite my pleadings. She gave me all of it. Willingly and lovingly, I ate the food and thanked her for her kindness. I still remember this incidence after fourteen years.
Had I not been Muslim, I would not have experienced the beauty of this ummah. Really, this ummah of ours is a beautiful one, full of sparkles and light for the entire humanity. Had I not been Muslim, I would be living in my own world, thinking that this life was forever. Had I not been Muslim, I would be in a total state of denial, wandering here and there. All praise is due to Allah who guided me with His own true guidance.
* Had I Not Been Muslim: one of my personal reflection moments
*Take Your Nutrition Skills to the World Beyond!
By Maryam Funmilayo
Fall 2010
I have always thought that my nutrition skills would be used to benefit my local community only until I read an article titled “Personal Action: Opportunity Knocks” in my Community Nutrition in Action textbook while in college. It is unimaginable that the generality of the people suffering in many countries have so many nutrition-related diseases, particularly malnutrition, or what the World Health Organization (WHO) refers to as ‘nutrition disorders’.
From the article, I learned that nutrition is a global public health concern that should not be taken lightly. According to the WHO, “Nutrition disorders can be caused by an insufficient intake of food or of certain nutrients, by an inability of the body to absorb and use nutrients, or by overconsumption of certain foods.”
I was spurred into deep thinking: how could I make my nutrition skills beneficial to others in less privileged countries? What does it take to teach the locals about basic nutrition and preventative measures against diseases? I concluded that I had enough knowledge to benefit those affected by nutrition disorders. Interestingly, most of these nutrition disorders were due to lack of knowledge about general health, nutrition, food, and hygiene. For many people, the availability and quality of resources are scarce.
Five months after my graduation from college and one month after I had my son, I decided to apply for a scholarship to conduct nutrition and public health research abroad. I was also opportune to speak with the nutrition faculty members of the university overseas, who gave me the heads-up on their research work that was related to what I planned on embarking on. It took me four tedious months to gather information, while working on the rigorous scholarship application. It was a challenging yet rewarding process for me. Coming up with a title, abstract, and even a concise, straightforward introduction for the proposal were good learning experiences.
Three months after the date of submission, I found out I was not selected for the scholarship. Albeit disappointed, the experience I garnered from my rejected application left me energized and determined to make a difference. I became energized by looking for other scholarships whose focus is on health-related international affairs. I also pledged to myself to delve more into the global health issues and educate more people on it. One of the ways was to hold health and nutrition seminars at my local Muslim community, and encourage women and girls to consider the dietetics and nutrition field as a career. I also started writing health-related articles in magazines that cater to Muslim girls and women.
Many places in the world are in need of qualified registered dietitians to deliver authentic nutrition education and health promotion programs to their local people. More so, RDs who understand the culture, customs, and languages of their host country, are added assets. Volunteering, conducting nutrition research, or working abroad as a RD opens the door of many life-enriching opportunities beyond one’s imagination.
I envision the day I will do field work overseas, educating people to live healthier lives; the day I will be training women on nutrition, sanitation, or oral rehydration therapy; assisting in marketing of messages aimed at improving local health practices; and giving hope and support to distressed and helpless mothers who feed their infants on opium due to lack of adequate breast milk.
May I share the following Qur’anic verse with you.
“Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For Allah loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious.” Qur’an 4 Verse 36
*Article was originally published in the "Figs and Olives", a newsletter for the Muslims in Dietetics and Nutrition.
*MY HIJAB STORY
By Maryam Funmilayo
June 2011
I donned on the hijab after my first year in college in Nigeria. It happened on one sunny afternoon in January 1994. I decided to go to class with my hijab. I cannot remember the exact date. It was not easy since my late parents (may Allaah have mercies on their souls) were not supportive of it. Though I was born into a Muslim family, I was never exposed to any basic Islamic education during my childhood. I attended Catholic elementary and high schools for eleven straight years, and knew everything and anything about hymns, songs of praise, Easter, and Christmas. Back then, in the seventies and eighties, Catholic schools in Africa had excellent educational standards. Muslim schools were few and those few ones were poorly rated. Their standards were low.
Alhamdulilaah, for the past years now, there have been many established Islamic schools in Nigeria with excellent educational standards.The Muslim Students' Society (MSS) was very welcoming to new students on campus.My zeal to know Islam actually grew after meeting so many Muslim students and becoming active in the MSS.
When my late father noticed the changes in my way of dressing, he advised me to switch my major from Medicine to Arabic and Islamic Studies. I understood his concern as a caring father. Without much ado, confrontation, and arguments from my side, I only called and cried unto Allah to give me the strength to hold on to my new life. It was not easy at all at home.
Alhamdulilaah, after so much persistence, dua, and patience, my parents eventually accepted my way of dressing.I had to win their hearts and prove to them that I was still the same daughter, even much better than before simply because of the basic knowledge that I had acquired about my deen. Gradually, my parents became inquisitive about Islam, and my unforgettable joy on earth is that they became practicing Muslims, attending jumuah services and Islamic programs before they both left this world. They did the best they could do, according to their abilities, and may Allah accept it from them. Though I miss them dearly, I'm happy that they passed away with the deen in their hearts.
Glory be to Allaah. Subhana Allaah.
*A short story posted for the Muslimah Writers Alliance
By Maryam Funmilayo
June 2011
I donned on the hijab after my first year in college in Nigeria. It happened on one sunny afternoon in January 1994. I decided to go to class with my hijab. I cannot remember the exact date. It was not easy since my late parents (may Allaah have mercies on their souls) were not supportive of it. Though I was born into a Muslim family, I was never exposed to any basic Islamic education during my childhood. I attended Catholic elementary and high schools for eleven straight years, and knew everything and anything about hymns, songs of praise, Easter, and Christmas. Back then, in the seventies and eighties, Catholic schools in Africa had excellent educational standards. Muslim schools were few and those few ones were poorly rated. Their standards were low.
Alhamdulilaah, for the past years now, there have been many established Islamic schools in Nigeria with excellent educational standards.The Muslim Students' Society (MSS) was very welcoming to new students on campus.My zeal to know Islam actually grew after meeting so many Muslim students and becoming active in the MSS.
When my late father noticed the changes in my way of dressing, he advised me to switch my major from Medicine to Arabic and Islamic Studies. I understood his concern as a caring father. Without much ado, confrontation, and arguments from my side, I only called and cried unto Allah to give me the strength to hold on to my new life. It was not easy at all at home.
Alhamdulilaah, after so much persistence, dua, and patience, my parents eventually accepted my way of dressing.I had to win their hearts and prove to them that I was still the same daughter, even much better than before simply because of the basic knowledge that I had acquired about my deen. Gradually, my parents became inquisitive about Islam, and my unforgettable joy on earth is that they became practicing Muslims, attending jumuah services and Islamic programs before they both left this world. They did the best they could do, according to their abilities, and may Allah accept it from them. Though I miss them dearly, I'm happy that they passed away with the deen in their hearts.
Glory be to Allaah. Subhana Allaah.
*A short story posted for the Muslimah Writers Alliance
*ZUMURRUD BINT JAWLEE: A JUST AND RADIANT ROLE MODEL
By Maryam Funmilayo
August 2011
The Qur’an and sunah are filled with detailed accounts of the lives of those who lived before us. They are indeed, humanity’s greatest men and women, who have impacted the earth positively with their footsteps. They are men and women, from different ethnic backgrounds, who toiled with all their wealth, strength, and humility, in establishing the truth, and living the pristine Islam. Among them are the prophets, alayhemus salaam (may Allaah’s peace be with them), and the salaf salihin, the righteous companions. When we read about their lives, we need to contemplate on what we have learned so far and derive lessons from them.
Allaah blessed me with life and the opportunity to attend a weekend AlMaghrib seminar in College Park, Maryland, from July 22-24, 2011, just few weeks before the commencement of Ramadhan. Before then, I only knew very few of the Islamic scholars, and out of the few I knew, I knew so little about their lives and the legacies they left behind for us to tread upon. After the seminar ended, I was totally in shock and mesmerized at the same time because of the in-depth Islamic history that is found in Islam. There were thirteen Islamic scholars that were discussed. Out of the thirteen were two female scholars whose names I never heard of before. They were Zumurrud Bint Jawlee and Faatimah As-Samarqandiyyah. I was super excited to find out that two Muslim women were on the list, maa shaa Allaah. However, I anxiously wanted to know much more about Zumurrud just because there is a sister in our community whose name is Zumurrud, and all this while, I always forgot to ask her the meaning of her beautiful name. Alhamdulilaah, AlMaghrib Institute provided me the right answer.
So, who is Zumurrud Bint Jawlee?
Her Early Life: Zumurrud Khaatoon bint Jawlee, whose nickname was Safwat Al Mulk (The cream of royalty), originally hailed from the Seljuk Turks (Turks of Iraaq). She was born is 470 AH (1074CE) in Ash-Shaam, specifically in Damascus, Syria. She had a royal upbringing because her father, Prince Jawlee, her uncle, and her step-father, Tintish ibn Alb Arsalaan, all ruled Damascus as King at some time in their lives. Her half brother, from her mother’s side, King Daqqaaq, was also a king in As-Shaam before the Crusaders.
She memorized the Qur’an during her childhood, maa sha Allaah tabaraka Allaah. She studied hadeeth and fiqh according to the madhhab of Abu Haneefah, until she attained a scholarly level. Hence, she was known as a faqeehah and narrator of ahadeeth.
Her father married her to King Booree, son of King Taghatkeen, who also belonged to the Seljuk Turks. After her father’s death, her husband became king of Damsacus, and she became the queen of Damscus.
Important factors that shaped her life:
First, growing up in a family of royalty made her so well-educated with refined manners. People commented about her intelligence and beauty. Despite her royal lineage, she was neither haughty nor pompous. She was exactly the opposite: very humble, noble, and righteous.
Second, she was surrounded by scholars at an early age and she memorized the Qur’an.
Third, she grew up during the time of the Crusaders who occupied their land for more than 40 years.
Fourth, she saw dissension among the Muslim ummah; every city formed its own micro government with its own king, and they fought against one another.
Special Qualities:
First, she had a nice combination of knowledge and power: she was a haafidhah and faqeehah as well as a queen.
Second, she financially and politically supported Hanafee scholars
Third, she was righteous in wealth and poverty, during power, and when it was taken away.
Fourth, she cared and loved her people profoundly and so, she was well loved and respected by her people.
Fifth, she was very firm in the truth.
Events to remember:
When her husband, King Booree, died, one of her three sons, Shams Al-Mulook Isma’eel, succeeded the throne and became the next king. Unfortunately, Isma’eel was a ruthless ruler. It was narrated that when there was a family misunderstanding, which became a famly feud, Isma’eel locked up his older brother, Muhammad, until Muhammad died. He also had plans to plot against his own mother. His mother learned of his dirty plans, and ordered her servants and guards to lock the palace doors, and kill Isma’eel. Zumurrud did not allow her emotions as a mother to becloud her Islamic judgment. She was firm, prudent, and just. Hence, Isma’eel’s punishment for killing his own blood brother was his own death by his own mother.
Her death: Before she passed away at the age of ninety, she moved to Madeenah, in Saudi Arabia. By that time, all her wealth was gone. She had dignity so she never begged for money. She ended up sifting flour as a job. She was known in Madeenah for her fasting and praying, but most people then, were unaware of her true identity. She died in Madeenah in 557AH (1161CE), and was buried in Al-Baqee’. After her death, people then realized that a queen had been living among them.
Lessons learned from the life of Zumurrud Jawlee:
Be involved in your children’s lives, and spend quality time with them.
Be strong and dignified
Seek knowledge, no matter the distraction.
Do not be a victim of your circumstance
No matter your status, never show off. Allaah gives wealth and knowledge to whoever He wills, and He takes wealth and knowledge from whomever He wills.
Think about what you can do, not what you cannot do.
Make dua for your children; do not rely on your righteousness.
My own take home message: The last lesson was the one that hit me the most. Yes, let us continue to make intense, continuous dua for our children. We are all in this together. If one child in our community brings glory to Islam, it is a victory for all of us and for our ummah. If otherwise, it means a loss for all of us and for our ummah. Despite her religious background, one of her sons turned out to be cruel and his life ended fatally and bitterly. Overall, Zumurrud’s life history is an opportunity for us all to reconnect with our Islamic history, and give salute to our Islamic male and female scholars, who were and still are, the TORCH BEARERS OF ISLAM. May Allaah bless them all, aameen.
*Note Below: The descriptions of Zumurrud's life are excerpts of the original story. The original story can be found in the Al Maghrib Institute booklet titled, “TORCH BEARERS: SCHOLARS OF ISLAM”. Story republished in the Eid 1432/2011 edition of "The Voice Newsletter", a publication for the Islamic Association of Raleigh, North Carolina.
*Attaining a Soul-Inspiring Nutritious Ramadhan
By Maryam Funmilayo
August 2011
Our guest of honor, Ramadhan, will come knocking at our doors in a couple of weeks. It is that time of the year again where over a billion Muslims on the earth’s surface get their gears ready to host this unique guest. The poor, the rich, the elderly, the young, able-bodied men and women from every continent and region we can think of, are preparing themselves to get ready, get set to gain spirituality, and go for it. Such is the beauty of this ninth Islamic month called Ramadhan.
Ramadhan is a month that brings together family and friends through one of the basic commodities of life that Allaah has blessed us with and that is food. Yes, food in Ramadhan is something that unifies us all when we partake in the pre-dawn’s meal, and when we are ready to break our fast. In as much as food is that unifying factor, we should also bear it in mind that we can make this unifying factor become a blessing for us or a curse against us. For it is very true and sad enough that we waste food all the time, all year long despite the statistics about poverty and lack of food and water, right here in our own backyards, as well as in poverty stricken countries. More so, it is sadder and so pathetic that we Muslims, especially those of us who are blessed with ample amounts of foods, waste more foods in the month of Ramadhan. This does not occur only in the West just because the West is known to have richer and more resources. This wastage has gone beyond the Western boundaries, spreading all around the world, and surfacing in many places in Africa, Asia, and the Middle East. There are the rich among us who usurp too much and give little or nothing to our subordinates. I believe this kind of attitude and lack of conscience to share natural resources with others, is common to every country, whether rich or poor, or in between.
In order for us to have that soul-inspiring Ramadhan, we all need to deeply taste the sweetness of fasting, and savor the feeling of breaking our fast. We need to visualize ourselves living the lives of many poor people in the world and put ourselves in their shoes. In order for us to really know, understand, implement, and put into practice a nutritious Ramadhan, we need to humble ourselves before Allaah, and eat and drink with balance and moderation. The reality is this: Allaah who has given us all these foods can easily take away these foods from us. He is able to do anything and everything. Also, we need to go out of our comfort zones, and invite those we know little of. These can be our next door neighbors who are Muslims and non-Muslims. Inviting our neighbors for a cup of herbal tea and zucchini bread can speak wonders. It can go a long way. It is indeed, a complete ice breaker. Sharing our food with them makes them feel more at home with us. Da’wah to our neighbors, friends, and colleagues at work and school, through the power of foods and drinks, most especially in the auspicious month of Ramadhan, is simply beautiful.
Hence, let us brace up ourselves by working to curb our weak desires towards eating too much. I hate to mention this just because Ramadhan is around the corner. This is my message for every one of us all year long, from the month of Muharram to the month of Dhul Hijjah. Yes, it is difficult for most of us to attain because of the pleasures derived in seeing surplus foods advertised in our very own eyes. We need to be reminded often that eating and drinking in a balanced and moderate manner, stems from the Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad, salla llaahu alayhe was salam. If we do not yearn to follow his Sunnah, then whose Sunnah do we want to follow?
May I leave you with these wise words from one of our past pious predecessors, Abdullah Ibn Umar?
A man said to Abdullah Ibn Umar: “Shouldn’t I bring you some jawarish? Ibn Umar said: What is that? He said: Something which aids in digesting your food after you eat. Ibn Umar said: I have not eaten to being full for four months. That is not because I am not able to do so, but I was with a group of people who were hungry more than they were full”. This is narrated from Adh-Dhahabi’s ‘Siyar A’lam an-Nubala‘‘(4/346-373), and Ibn al-Jawzi’s ‘Sifat as-Safwah’ (1/214-222).
May Allaah give us the strength and guts to combat our weak desires in the month of Ramadhan, and give us continuous strength in striving against our weak desires till we breathe our last, aameen.
Ramadhan Mubarak!
* Article was originally published in the Islamic Writers Alliance Magazine
POETRY: "I JUST LOVE READING!"
By Maryam Funmilayo
I love reading and value every minute of it.
I cherish reading and enjoy every second of it.
Reading is my hobby, my habit, and passion
Reading helps me relax my mind from distraction
I love good books that sharpen my intellect
Authored by talented writers that I really respect
Good books do not bore me, harm me nor ruin me
Instead, they nourish, nurture and fill me.
When I am grieving, I pick up a good book
After devouring it, I feel like I’m on a hook
Reading is like adding honey to my tea
It strengthens my body like that of a bee
A beneficial book is my ultimate soul food
Abandoning such book shows my ingratitude
Reading and good books must go hand in hand
To reach the level of scholars who are in high command
So, ask me about reading and I can write you a prose
Be ready for two tearful eyes and one sniffly nose
I love reading and value every moment of it
Without reading, I don’t think I’ll stay fit
Originally published in the spring edition 2012 edition of the Islamic Writers Alliance, IWA